I will never leave you.

“I let the dog out, or I let him in, and we talk some. I let him know I like him, and he lets me know he likes me.” – Kurt Vonnegut

Dogs can be so needy.

Now yes, they are also loving, hilarious, sweet and all of the things. But as any dog owner can attest, our four-legged fur babies can be around us 24/7, every day for the rest of their lives and it still not be enough.

Look, don’t get me wrong, it’s super sweet most of the time. And it’s all fun and games… until you need to go to the bathroom.

As I mentioned in my previous post, Susie used to be an outdoor dog.

And before you pick up those rocks and start stoning me for leaving that precious pup outside, you should know that there was an incident where our home was infested with fleas.

It was a big to do and she was loved a little less that day.

She has since found her way back into our good graces by slowly melting our hearts (read: my heart) with her cuteness. And just like that, she’s back inside.

However, as she is a dog, she does need to go outside from time to time, be it to use the restroom, run around for some exercise, or bark at the people in the neighborhood park for daring to step foot on her playground.

When she wants to be let out, her initial move usually involves her taking a leisurely stroll around the living room. She will ultimately end up at the patio door, which is her way of saying ‘I’m-interested-in-stepping-outside-for-a-moment.’

However, when her need to be outside moves from casual to imminent, she then proceeds to breathe heavily near the base of the door, which is her way of saying ‘let-me-out-before-I-burn-this-place-down.’

So like any good (read: decent) dog parents, we try to oblige her request to be let out sooner rather than later. Most of the time, she is so anxious to be outside that she all but runs us over to do so.

She can be a bully. We’re loving her through it.

But just as she is so desperate to be let out, you can guarantee that she is equally as desperate to be let back in. Now of course, her going out and coming back in has to be on her terms, so when she’s ready to come inside, she makes her presence known.

Usually, it starts innocently enough.

She will make her way back up the patio stairs, walk over to the door and just stare you down until you feel like she has pierced your soul.

But when we don’t answer her in a timely manner, homegirl can start getting a little aggressive.

You see, she’s under the impression that we either 1. Can’t see her, B. Are ignoring her or III. Her death stare is not as strong as it used to be. Either way, she’s not yet inside and that’s a problem for her.

So now she starts to make a little noise.

In a last ditch effort to get our attention, she starts clawing and scratching at the door. She is so sure that, this time, we have forgotten about her. Even though every single time before that, she’s always brought back inside.

She’s so ridiculous like that. We have never left her outside indefinitely. Never have before and don’t plan to start now.

Which, of course, reminded me of scripture –

“He will never leave you, nor forsake you.” – Deuteronomy 31:6

I’ve stood in front of God, patiently waiting for Him to make a move and let me in. And as with many things, I want it on my terms.

So when it takes longer than I’d expected (my death stare is also not as strong as it used to be), I start making a little noise.

‘Alright, God, I’ve been waiting out here for a while — can You please open the door?’

‘Hey, so God, it’s me again. Look, I’m still out here — can You hear me?’

‘Seriously, God, will you answer me please?!’

I’m needy.

But just like every single time before, He reminds me that A. He sees me, 2. He hears me and C. He has not forgotten about me.

He never has before and I don’t think He plans to start now.

Susie continues to play out so many scenarios in her day-to-day life that remind me of me. She unknowingly puts a mirror up to my actions and allows me to see how God may look at me in a similar situation.

Just today, she knocked down a heavy duty makeshift barrier in our garage because she is d e t e r m i n e d to get over to the other side. Even though that barrier was purposely placed there to stop her from getting into dangerous household cleaners and chemicals.

She thinks we’re trying to stop her from having fun and holding things back from her. Just like I sometimes think God is being a joykill and won’t let me past the barriers He’s put up in my life.

But they’re for my good. They are always for my good.

Silly Susie. Silly me.

—

I hope you have enjoyed this series! If you haven’t already, be sure to ‘follow’ Simply BreAshlee and stay tuned for more ramblings.