When I resigned from my job, the typical reaction I received was that of excitement, delight, and just a touch of shock.
You are stepping out on faith!
Proud of you for being obedient!
Oh wow, you are so brave – congratulations!
You get the idea.
Yet, in the midst of the hoopla, I did receive a few reactions that were a little different.
Not ‘different’ like –
Oh wow, that sounds like a decision you’re going to regret… Congratulations on ruining your life!
Cause that would be awkward.
No, the people that were reaching out to me were happy for me and cheering me on. There were just some that also included some realistic expectations and advice. Cautionary tales, if you will.
Be ready for some unexpected feelings to surface.
Whatever that means.
You better work, covergirl.
My first week of work freedom was spent thinking not one single thing about work.
The boo and I flew up to NYC to celebrate his big 3-0, so you’ll have to forgive us, but we were far too busy – what with singing about magic carpet rides and being harassed on the streets – to be concerned about my next career step.
Though the trip was planned months in advance for his birthday, I must say that the timing for ya girl was perfect.
Once we got home, however, playtime was over and the work began.
I wasted no time getting busy – enrolling myself in personal development courses, participating in a 3-day writers and speakers conference, and purposely proportioning out each day to reach my maximum efficiency.
I had no chill.
Just because I wasn’t going to an office everyday, didn’t mean there wasn’t still work to be done. So I buckled down and did the work.
E-mails were sent. Applications were submitted. Phone calls were made. My next career – nay! my purpose – was waiting for me and I needed to grab hold of it.
The sooner, the better.
Do you know what happens when you hit the ground running, plan your every move from sun up until sun down, and don’t come up for air (because that wasn’t included in the daily schedule)?
Much like the Ninja blender that’s basically a paperweight on my kitchen counter right now.
Poor thing burns out.
With every course I completed, and session I attended, I felt like I was no closer to a breakthrough. I had worked myself into a frenzy and became increasingly overwhelmed and confused. Unexpected feelings were surfacing.
At this point in my summer vacation (read: unemployment), asking even the simplest of questions, like ‘well, what do you like to do?’ gave me hives.
Are you ready to place your order?
Have you ever gone to the Cheesecake Factory?
If you have, you’re probably familiar with a few things about this particular restaurant.
1. It’s expensive
B. They’re known for the cheesecake, but the carrot cake is the real MVP
iii. It takes 2 hours to go through the menu
It just doesn’t make any walking around sense.
They proudly advertise that they make 250 dishes from scratch every day. Why does a restaurant need to give me that many options? WHY?! The menu may as well be my high school yearbook, and my yearbook was thick. I’m tempted to write in the back of it “you’re not awesome, and I need you to change.”
Thank God for the complimentary breadbasket. I can at least carb up while my eyes glaze over the l i t e r a l l y hundreds of options. Can I get an amen?
So without fail, I tell my server that, no – I’m not ready to order yet. I could make it easy and go with a simple chicken dish, but there are 31 different options, so I’m going to need a little more time to look over the menu.
And while I look – can we get more bread?
As I sit on my couch and ponder over what’s next for me, the fact that I have the option to even sit on my couch and ponder doesn’t escape me.
It doesn’t escape me that I’m in a position to take some time off and really consider what I want to do with my life.
It doesn’t escape me that I’m presented with an menu full options and I get to choose.
So no matter how overwhelming this may be, I realize (& am grateful for) how fortunate I am to be where I am.
I didn’t think it was in my DNA to leave a sure thing without having something just as sure waiting for me on the other side. Momma didn’t raise no fool (sorry, mom!)
So when I took that grand jeté into the unknown, I fully expected to have found my footing and landed by now. Instead, I’m still up in the air, legs flailing, yelling Jesus, catch me!
I haven’t found the answers I’ve been looking for yet. But, I have found something that I didn’t know I needed.
I don’t mean taking-naps-and-watching-Veronica-Mars type of rest (though these things have happened and YOU CAN’T JUDGE ME).
I mean, true, intentional, Godly rest.
Have no idea what that is?
Don’t worry. When I first started, I didn’t either.
Let’s talk soon.