St. Olaf, right?

I threw a battery at her head once.

She probably deserved it, but it wasn’t my finest hour.


A relationship between sisters is an interesting one.

You may have shared the same parents, lived in the same household and had the same upbringing, but that certainly didn’t make you the same.

More times than not, we are the polar opposite of our double-X chromosome sibling.

Growing up with my sister was no different.

And as to be expected, we had some interesting run-ins because of it.

The car.

When I was still in high school, and my sister was off at college, we had two family cars that we alternated driving.

New car at 16?! LOL.

The first was a blue ’86 Honda Accord, equipped with matching blue cloth interior and an unmoving drivers seat that required you to sit on a pillow so you could see over the steering wheel.

The other?

Oh, well now that was a 1992 Acura Legend, coming at you hot with that black-on-black leather seating, a 6-disc CD player and power seating on the driver and passenger side.

I’ll let you decide which one we liked the best.

Since one was clearly superior to the other, our parents made it fair by saying we could drive one car for the week and then swap out on Sunday’s.

That was the plan.

The agreed upon plan.

But sister decided to change that plan.

Because one Friday, while I was still in school and she was back home for the weekend, she had the audacity to drive to my school, swap our cars out, and then speed away from the scene of the crime while I was inside and was none the wiser.

The audacity!

The purse.

There’s no easy way to say this, so I’ll just say it.

Growing up, my sister was a klepto.

Nothing was sacred in our household.

On one occasion, when we were both still in high school (& stealing from me was as easy as walking two feet into my bedroom) she helped herself to one of my purses and loaned it to one of her 192 friends.

Are we sensing a theme here?

I didn’t even know she had taken it until I saw said friend in the bathroom one day at school.

Me: Oh wow, I have a purse just like that!
Friend: I know, it’s yours. Your sister let me borrow it…

Just disrespectful.

Actual footage of my sister.

The word.

And then there was that time when my sister made me mad (as sisters tend to do) and I *may* have called her a name that wasn’t listed on her birth certificate.

Don’t @ me, this was before Jesus.

Well, she snitched (also something sisters have been known to do) and told my mom, who promptly handled it with the help of a strong arm and a belt…

I mean, there were sooo many instances just like this that I could share.

But that was then.

Let’s talk about now.

The best.

Yes, she may have taken the car when she was in college. But when I was a freshman, and my rooming situation didn’t work out, she let me cramp her style and crash on her couch that entire year.

Yes, she may have stolen my things and loaned them to her 192 friend. But she also used her social butterfly powers for good and expected those friends in high school to look out for me.

And yes, she did snitch on me. But there were many times when she held and kept my secrets.

Which brings us to today.

Years removed from our youth, having traveled the world, celebrated triumphs and walked through hardships — together.

Now she’s got a husband and a little human who get to benefit from the pretty incredible person that she is.

So today, on her birthday, I take this day to celebrate her.

Happy Birthday, sissy!

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